The Cross of Berny by Emile de Girardin
page 19 of 336 (05%)
page 19 of 336 (05%)
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resemble in public the favorite of fortune. I simulate content, and my
face is radiant with deceit. The idle and curious of the Boulevard Italien, the benches of the circus would hardly recognise me as the gladiator struggling with an iron-clawed monster--they are all deceived. I feel a repugnance, dear Edgar, to entertaining you with a recital of my mysterious sorrow. I would prefer to leave you in ignorance, or let you divine them, but I explain to prevent your friendship imagining afflictions that are not mine. In the first place, to reassure you, my fortune has not suffered during my absence. On my return to Paris, my agent dazzled me with the picture of my wealth. "Happy man!" said he; "a great name, a large fortune, health that has defied the fires of the tropics, the ice of the poles,--and only thirty!" The notary reasoned well from a notary's stand-point. If I were to reduce my possessions to ingots, they would certainly balance a notary's estimate of happiness; therefore, fear nothing for my fortune. Nor must you imagine that I grieve over my political and military prospects that were lost in the royal storm of '30, when plebeian cannon riddled the Tuilleries and shattered a senile crown. I was only sixteen, and hardly understood the lamentations of my father, whose daily refrain was, "My child, your future is destroyed." A man's future lies in any honorable career. If I have left the epaulettes of my ancestors reposing in their domestic shrine, I can |
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