when you're in for a stoup, never mix liquors or sit with your back
to the fire. If you're obliged to go out, be sure to fight across the
ridges, and if you can manage it, with the sun at your back. Ugh! ugh!
ugh!"

"In crossing a country, choose the--"

Another coughing fit, and a long hiatus in valedictory instructions
succeeded, but the old man, as they say in hunting, got second wind,
and thus proceeded--

"Never fence a ditch when a gate is open--avoid late hours and
attorneys--and the less you have to say to doctors, all the
better--ugh! ugh! ugh! When it's your misfortune to be in company
with an old maid--I mean a reputed one--ugh! ugh! always be on the
muzzle--for in her next issue of scandal she'll be sure to quote
you as her authority. If a saint comes in your way, button your
breeches-pocket, and look now and then at your watch-chain. I'm
brought nearly to a fix, for bad bellows won't stand long speeches."

Here the ripple in his speech, which disturbed Commodore Trunnion so
much, sorely afflicted my worthy grandfather. He muttered something
that a snaffle was the safest bit a sinner could place faith
in--assumed the mantle of prophecy--foretold, as it would appear,
troublous times to be in rapid advent--and inculcated that faith
should be placed in heaven, and powder kept very dry.

He strove to rally and reiterate his counsels for my father's
guidance, but strength was wanting. The story of a life was told--he
swayed on one side from the supporting pillows--and in a minute more