SPECIMENS FROM MR. PUNCH'S SCAMP-ALBUM.

NO. I.--THE CLASSICAL SCHOLAR IN REDUCED CIRCUMSTANCES.

You are, let us say, a young professional man in chambers or offices,
incompetently guarded by an idiot boy whom you dare not trust with the
responsibility of denying you to strangers. You hear a knock at your
outer door, followed by conversation in the clerk's room, after which
your salaried idiot announces, "A Gentleman to see you." Enter a dingy
and dismal little man in threadbare black, who advances with an air of
mysterious importance. "I think," he begins, "I 'ave the pleasure of
speaking to Mr.----" (_whatever your name is_.) "I take the liberty of
calling, Mr.----, to consult you on a matter of the utmost importance,
and I shall feel personally obliged if you will take precautions for
our conversation not being over'eard."

He looks grubby for a client--but appearances are deceptive, and
you offer him a seat, assuring him that he may speak with perfect
security--whereupon he proceeds in a lowered voice.

[Illustration]

"The story I am about to reveal," he says, smoothing a slimy tall hat,
"is of a nature so revolting, so 'orrible in its details, that I can
'ardly bring myself to speak it to any 'uming ear!" (_Here you will
probably prepare to take notes._) "You see before you one who is of
'igh birth but low circumstances!" (_At this, you give him up as a
possible client, but a mixture of diffidence and curiosity compels
you to listen._) "Yes, Sir, I was '_fruges consumeary nati_.' I 'ave
received a neducation more befitting a dook than my present condition.