Book-bot.com - read famous books online for free

Punch, Or The London Charivari, Volume 101, July 11, 1891 by Various
page 6 of 44 (13%)
into rows'. (_Candidly._) I'm a blanky coward, I am.

_His Friend_ (_admiringly_). Give us yer 'and. Yer can't be a blankier
coward than _me_!

_The A.P._ (_with just pride_). Oi've been wan o' the biggest
libertines in this or anny other city in me toime--there's no
blagardhism oi'd have put beyant me--but oi till ye this. If PARNELL
was to come up to me here, now, and ask me to sheek um by the hand,
oi'd say, "Shtand back, ye d----d scoundthrel!" Ah, oi would _that_!

_Belated Orator_ (_perorating to an embarrassed stranger on a seat
before him, under a muddled impression that he is addressing a
spell-bound multitude_). I tell yer--yes, hevery man, and hevery woman
among yer--(_Here he bends forward, and touches his hearer's right and
left elbow impressively_) don't you go away under the impression I'm
talking of what I don't understan'! (_The Stranger shifts his leg and
looks another way_.) I speak sense, don't I? _You_ never 'eard nothin'
like this afore, _any_ of yer, _'ave_ yer? That's because I read
between the lines! (_Waving his arm wildly._) An' I want heach man
and boy of you to 'member my words, and _hact_ upon them when the time
comes!

[_Here he staggers off with a proud and exalted air, to the
immense relief of his hearer._

_A Professional Pietist_ (_with a modest working capital of one hymn
and a nasal drone_). "My richest gynes" ... (_To Charitable Passer_. A
copper, Sir? bless your kind 'art!) "I cayount" ... (_Examining it._
A bloomin' French 'ap'ny!) ... "but loss; And pour contemp'" ... (Call
DigitalOcean Referral Badge