Punch, Or The London Charivari, Volume 101, July 11, 1891 by Various
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page 6 of 44 (13%)
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into rows'. (_Candidly._) I'm a blanky coward, I am.
_His Friend_ (_admiringly_). Give us yer 'and. Yer can't be a blankier coward than _me_! _The A.P._ (_with just pride_). Oi've been wan o' the biggest libertines in this or anny other city in me toime--there's no blagardhism oi'd have put beyant me--but oi till ye this. If PARNELL was to come up to me here, now, and ask me to sheek um by the hand, oi'd say, "Shtand back, ye d----d scoundthrel!" Ah, oi would _that_! _Belated Orator_ (_perorating to an embarrassed stranger on a seat before him, under a muddled impression that he is addressing a spell-bound multitude_). I tell yer--yes, hevery man, and hevery woman among yer--(_Here he bends forward, and touches his hearer's right and left elbow impressively_) don't you go away under the impression I'm talking of what I don't understan'! (_The Stranger shifts his leg and looks another way_.) I speak sense, don't I? _You_ never 'eard nothin' like this afore, _any_ of yer, _'ave_ yer? That's because I read between the lines! (_Waving his arm wildly._) An' I want heach man and boy of you to 'member my words, and _hact_ upon them when the time comes! [_Here he staggers off with a proud and exalted air, to the immense relief of his hearer._ _A Professional Pietist_ (_with a modest working capital of one hymn and a nasal drone_). "My richest gynes" ... (_To Charitable Passer_. A copper, Sir? bless your kind 'art!) "I cayount" ... (_Examining it._ A bloomin' French 'ap'ny!) ... "but loss; And pour contemp'" ... (Call |
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