I yesterday heard of Y.R.H.'s arrival here; joyful tidings for me, but
saddened by knowing that it must be some time before I can have the good
fortune to wait on Y.R.H.; having been long very ill, at last _jaundice_
declared itself, which I consider a most loathsome malady. I trust,
however, I shall be so far recovered as to see Y.R.H. before you leave
this. Last winter, too, I had some very severe rheumatic attacks. Much of
this proceeds from the melancholy state of my family affairs; I have
hitherto hoped, by every possible exertion on my part, at last to remedy
these. That Providence, who searches my inmost heart, and knows that as a
man I have striven sacredly to fulfil all the duties imposed on me by
humanity, God, and Nature, will no doubt one day extricate me from all
these troubles. The Mass [in D] will be delivered to Y.R.H. here. I hope
Y.R.H. will excuse my entering into the various causes of the delay. The
details could not be otherwise than painful to Y.R.H. I would often gladly
have written to Y.R.H. from here, but you told me to wait till I first
heard from you. What, then, was I to do? Y.R.H. might have been displeased
had I not attended to your injunction, and I know that there are people who
are glad to calumniate me to Y.R.H., which pains me exceedingly. I
therefore often think that my sole recourse is to keep quiet till Y.R.H.
expresses a wish either to see or to hear of me. I was told that Y.R.H. had
been indisposed, but I hope it was nothing serious. May Heaven shower down
its most precious blessings on Y.R.H.! I trust it may not be very long
before I shall be so fortunate as to assure Y.R.H. how entirely I am, &c.,
&c.

[K.]


301.