* * * * *

A GRAND OLD WETTERUN!

I ain't bin werry well lately, and, to crown the hole, I was cort in
the Lizzard, I think, as they called it, on that awful Munday nite,
and that was pretty nearly a settler for both my old bones and my
breth, and might ha' bin quite so, if one of the werry kindest Members
of the old Copperashun as I nos on, who had bin a dining with a
jolly party on 'em, hadn't kindly directed my notise to about a harf
bottle-full of werry fine old Port, with the remarkabel kind words,
"That's just about what you wants, Mr. ROBERT, to take you ome safely
this most orful nite!" And so it were, and I didn't waste a single
drop on it.

[Illustration: The "Tipper's" Strike.]

However, I was obligated to have a good long rest, which I took out
mostly in sleep; but, jest as I was preparing to set out for the
"Grand Hotel," in comes my Son; and he says to me, "Guvnor," says
he--I notise as he allers calls me Guvnor when he wants me to do
sumthink--"I wants you to do me the favour to ask _Mr. Punch_ for
to do you a favour." "Why, what do you mean?" says I. "Why, this is
what I means," says he. "About the grandest feller as ewer in the
hole world gave up fifty years of his useful life to trying to make
hundreds of stupid boys into clever boys, and hundreds of bad boys
into good boys, and hundreds of dull boys into witty boys, is a going
for to have a testymonial given him by sum of them hundreds of boys,
me among 'em, to sellybrate his Jewbilly, same as the QUEEN had the
other day. Ewery one of us as lives in London will jump at the chance;