May not care to canvas 'cute schemes "o'er a drink."
Yet times must be many when sense will be winner
By chatting of trifles, which nations have riled,
As freely as though _vis-à-vis_ at a dinner,
And carefully "tiled."

Now England and France can thus gossip together,
And CARNOT and SALISBURY thus hob-a-nob,
We'll hope for set-fair international weather.
Our RAIKES and their ROCHE appear well "on the job."
The Telephone's triumph at least is not sinister.
Things should go easier somehow--with care,
When patriot Minister greets patriot Minister,
"_Hallo!--are you there?_"

* * * * *

ANOTHER TELEPHONIC SUGGESTION.--Connect the Theatres and Opera Houses
by Telephone with all the Clubs. On payment of a fixed charge, any
member should be able to hear just as much of the piece or Opera as he
might require. Something above the price of a Stall to be the maximum
charge for one person to hear entire Opera. For half the Opera, say
six shillings; for a quarter of it, three-and-six. For hearing one
song in it, eighteen-pence; and, if certain songs be in great demand,
the prices could be raised.

* * * * *

EPIGRAMMATIC DEFINITION OF MOST PUBLIC BANQUETS WITH POSTPRANDIAL
ORATORY.--"Stuff and Nonsense."