embarrassing, as I had to address them all as "you," a want of
distinction which I am afraid they felt. Tipped two porters, who
carried my bag and rug, a shilling each. They looked knowing, but
old TOLLAND had hinted that the other side had got a character for
meanness of which we could take a perfectly proper advantage without
in any way infringing the Corrupt Practices Act. Must look up that
Act. It may be a help. From the station we went straight to the
"George." There I was introduced to half a dozen more leaders of the
Party. Can't remember one of them except BLISSOP, the Secretary of
the Association, a chap about my own age, who told me his brother
remembered me at Oxford. There was a fellow of that name, I think, who
came up in my year, a scrubby-faced reading man. We made hay in his
room after a Torpid "rag," which he didn't like. Hope it isn't the
same. I said I remembered him well. Dined with TOLLAND; nobody but
leaders of the Party present, all as serious as judges, and full
of importance. CHORKLE, who drops his "h's" frightfully, asked me
"'ow long it would be afore a General Election," and seemed rather
surprised when I said I had no information on the matter.

The meeting of the Council came off in the large hall of the Billsbury
Beaconsfield Club. TOLLAND was in the chair, and made a long speech
in introducing me. I didn't take in a word of it, as I was repeating
my peroration to myself all the time. My speech went off pretty well,
except that I got mixed up in the middle, and forgot that blessed
story. However, when I got into the buttering part, it took them
by storm. I warmed old GLADSTONE up to-rights, and asked them to
contrast the state of England now with what it was when he was in
power. "Hyperion to a Satyr," I said. Colonel CHORKLE, in proposing
afterwards that I was a fit and proper person to represent Billsbury,
said, "Mr. PATTLE's able and convincing speech proves 'im not only