four separate attempts having been made to blow up my house
with nitro-glycerine, I feel compelled to explain--with much
reluctance--why it was that I declined to live with Mr. JONES.

"To begin with, it was only under _the most awful threats_ that Mr.
JONES prevailed on me to become his wife. His words--I remember them
well--were, 'My darling, you know how tenderly I adore you; if you
don't marry me _at once_ I'll break every bone in your body!' He then
snatched my bonnet, a _new one_, from my head, and so acted on my
_nerves_ that I went off to the Registry Office and was married. That
he was actuated by merely mercenary motives is proved by the fact that
the gratuity (of half-a-crown), which he presented to the Registry
Clerk, he actually _borrowed from me!_ I knew him already to be
unprincipled; but never until that moment had it flashed upon me that
he was a _fortune-hunter!_ However, as he had the drawing-room poker
with him--he kept it concealed up his back during the ceremony at the
Registry Office--I did not at that time say anything, but handed him
the coin. I do not know if I should have left him at once, had he not
aggravated the baseness of his conduct by using the vulgar expression,
'Fork it out quick!' But I regret to say that his origin is painfully
_low_. Whereas, anybody who consults _my_ relatives will hear from
them that they belong to the very highest County Families. Indeed, he
would hear it all day long if he lived with them, as I do!

"On the day of the abduction, I was treated _barbarously!_ Even the
cab in which I was taken off was, so the coachman informed me, 'put
down to my account.' Oh, had I but guessed the truth about Mr. JONES
when I went to the Altar--I mean the Registry Office! Supper consisted
of _cold mutton and pickles_ (!) which latter he upset, and I had a
dress _ruined_."