_Counsel for the Prosecution_. I beg pardon, but I must set my friend
right. Evidence _is_ offered in support of the charge, my Lord.

_Judge_. Yes; but there is no properly constituted body to receive
and decide upon its credibility. I am glad that the Grand Jury (to
whom I had the privilege of addressing a few observations upon our
unfortunate position) have ignored a larger number of bills than
usual; still the present case is before the Court, and I must dispose
of it. Can you assist us in any way, Mr. PERPLEBAGGE?

_Counsel for the Prosecution_ (_smiling_). I am afraid not, my Lord.

_Judge_. Well, I suppose I have no alternative but to order the
Prisoner to be taken back to--

_Prisoner_. To the place I was in last night? No, thankee!--not me!
Look here, gemmen all, we knows one another, don't we? Well, just to
oblige you--as Darmoor ain't 'alf bad in the summer, and as in course
I _did_ do it--I plead guilty!

_Judge_ (_with a sigh of relief_). Prisoner at the Bar, we are
infinitely beholden to you! [_Passes regulation sentence with grateful
courtesy._

* * * * *

THE INVECTIVE OF H-RC-RT.

(_A FRAGMENT IN HEXAMETERS, NOT BY GEORGE MEREDITH._)