stethoscope and goes off--like coals--to Newcastle, or like
mustard--to Durham--to waste valuable time in getting in those
colossal provincial centres what "Poor Little London" cannot
grant him._

* * * * *

BREAKFAST TABLE-TALK.

(_FROM EDISON'S PHRASE-BOOK._)

Good gracious! what was that horrible noise? It sounded like the
falling of a leg of mutton!

Oh! that was only the blow delivered by the Hackney Cockchafer on the
eye of the Midland Wrap-Rascal. It's the best fight I've seen for a
long time.

I wish, then, you would take it with you into another room. I can
scarcely catch a single word of the Rev. JABEZ FISHE's delightful
sermon, to which I am endeavouring to listen.

Heavens! why all the windows are broken! And the mirrors are
shattered! And the chandelier has come down!

Well, my dear, I am very sorry, but I was much interested in the
firing of this new 137-ton gun, and they have just let it off. That's
all.

* * * * *