The toper from his thirsty swig,
The swindler from his schemings sorry:
"Persuade" the Sweater to be just,
The 'cute Monopolist to be kindly;
Tempt hunger to resign his crust,
The niggard churl to lavish blindly:
Make--by soft words--the ruthless wrecker
Subscribe for life-boats, ropes and rockets;
_Then_ plump the National Exchequer
By willing doles from well-filled pockets!

* * * * *

QUEER QUERIES.

CENTRAL AFRICA.--I have a longing to be an Explorer in the wildest
and densest jungles of the Dark Continent. I feel certain that this
is my true _rôle_ in life, although some of my relatives, acting--I
believe--purely from jealousy, try to discourage me. Unfortunately I
have no money, and only a vague idea of how to get there. The voyage
out would probably do wonders for my health, which is not strong; in
fact at present I can hardly walk upstairs, and the Doctor says I
need a warm climate. I fancy Africa would be warm enough to suit me.
I should be glad to be told of any Capitalist who would advance a few
hundred pounds to enable me to carry out my design. He would not lose
his money, as I would repay him by sending home the skins of all
the lions and tigers that I shot--also ivory,--as well as realistic
accounts of slave caravans, &c., which any Publisher would be glad to
buy. LIVINGSTONE JUNIOR.