tale--_Valentine and Orson_--I chose that, because it's less
hackneyed, and has such an excellent _moral_, you know. I'm sure
you'll do it so _beautifully_!

_Mr. Tootler_ (_a shy man_). I--I'd do it with pleasure, I'm
sure--only I really don't know anything about _Valentine and Orson_!

_The V's D._ Oh, what _does_ that matter? I can tell you the outline
in two minutes. (_She tells him._) But it's got to last an hour, so
you must spin it out as much as ever you can.

[Illustration: The Young Heckler.]

_Mr. Tootler_ (_to himself_). Ought I to neglect such a golden
opportunity of winning these young hearts? No. (_Aloud._) I
will--er--do my best, and perhaps I had better begin at once, as
they seem to be getting--er--rather unruly at the further end of the
room. (_He clears his throat._) Children, you must be very quiet and
attentive, and then we shall be able, as we purpose this evening, to
show you some scenes illustrative of the--er--beautiful old story
of _Valentine and Orson_, which I doubt not is familiar to you all.
(_Rustic applause, conveyed by stamping and shrill cheers, after
which a picture is thrown on the screen representing a Village
Festival._) Here, children, we have a view of--er--(_with sudden
inspiration_)--Valentine's Native Village. It is--er--his birthday,
and Valentine, being a young man who is universally beloved on account
of his amiability and good conduct--(_To the Vicar's D._ "Is that
correct?" _The V.'s D._ "Quite, _quite_ correct!")--good conduct,
the villagers are celebrating the--er--auspicious event by general
rejoicings. How true it is that if we are only _good_, we may, young