Lots of dashing, and splashing, and "mashing" are things every man
must enjoy,
And the petticoats ain't fur behind 'em, you bet. While top-ropes I
can carry,
It ain't soap-board slop about "Quiet" will put the clear kibosh on

'ARRY.

* * * * *

HOW TO SPEND A HOLIDAY ON SCIENTIFIC PRINCIPLES.

(_A PAGE FROM THE DIARY OF AN ENTHUSIAST IN SEARCH OF REST._)

["It is a good rule of practice to devote one portion of a
short vacation to the serious and necessary business of doing
nothing, and doing it very thoroughly too."--_Letter to the
Times._]

At last my time for rest has arrived. Musn't be idle, though. Dr.
MORTIMER GRANVILLE says it would be most injurious to my health. Must
hunt up precedents for leisure leading to no results. Let me see--why
not try the British Museum? Sure to find something useful there--and
useless, which will be more appropriate.

Take an omnibus. See one in the distance. Hail it. Conductor takes
no notice! Shout and hurry after it. Try to attract attention of the
driver. Failure. Capital commencement to my labours. Had my run for
nothing!