[Illustration: Mr. Cyrus K. Trotter discussing New York Hotels.]

_The British Matron_. Oh, you _ought_ to see London; it's our
capital--chief city, you know. Very grand--large--four million
inhabitants! [_With pride, as being in some way responsible for this._

_A Rabbit-faced Daughter_ (_with a simper_). Quite a little _world_!

[_She looks down her nose, as if in fear of having said
something a little too original._

_The Germ. Stud._ No, I haf not yet at London peen. Ven I vill pedder
Englisch learn, I go.

_The Blazer_. You read our English books, I suppose? DICKENS, you
know, and HOMER, eh? About the Trojan War--that's his _best_ work!

_The Stud._ (_Ollendorffically_). I haf not read DIGGINS; but I haf
read ze bapers by _Bigvig_. Zey are vary indereshtin, and gurious.

_A Patriotic Young Scot_ (_to an admiring Elderly Lady in a black
mushroom hat_). Eh, but we just made a pairrty and went up Auld
Drachenfels, and when we got to th' tope, we danced a richt gude Scots
reel, and sang, "_We're a' togither an' naebody by_." concluding--just
to show, ye'll understan', that we were loyal subjics--wi' "_God Save
th' Queen_." The peasants didna seem just to know what to mak' of us,
I prawmise ye!

_The Black Mushroom_. How I wish I'd been one of you!