say
If he saw me a nailing a Notice--but no, that's too horrid a dream.
I must be a 'aving a Nightmare, and things cannot be wot they seem.
I could do with mere Laws--bye or hother-wise--Hacts, jest like Honours,
is easy,
But this Memyrandum of RITCHIE's queers BUMBLE, and makes him feel queasy,
Can't pertend as I don't hunderstand it, it's plain as my nose, clear as
mud.
_I'm_ responsible for--say Snow-clearing! It stirs up a Beadle's best
blood!
And when they can _Fine_ me for negligence, jest like some rate-paying
scrub--
Oh! Porochial dignity's bust! I must seek a pick-up at my Pub!

[_Does so._

* * * * *

[Illustration: A MODEST REQUEST.

"I HEAR YOU'RE SO CLEVER ABOUT ZENANA WORK. WILL YOU SHOW ME THE
STITCH?"]

* * * * *

"FIRST-CLASS" TRAVELLING

_MADE EASY, BY PAYING A "THIRD-CLASS" FARE AND A SMALL ADDITIONAL
TIP._