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Goody Two-Shoes - A Facsimile Reproduction of the Edition of 1766 by Anonymous
page 74 of 86 (86%)
fond of Money; for on seeing her Husband receive a very large Sum, her
Heart went pit pat, pit pat, all the Evening, and she began to think
that Guineas were pretty Things. To suppress this Turbulence of Mind,
which was a Symptom of approaching Avarice, she said her Prayers earlier
than usual, and at Night had the following Dream; which I shall relate
in her own Words.

"Methought, as I slept, a Genii stept up to me with a _French_
Commode, which having placed on my Head, he said, now go and be happy;
for from henceforth every Thing you touch shall turn to Gold. Willing
to try the Experiment, I gently touched the Bed-post and Furniture,
which immediately became massy Gold burnished, and of surprizing
Brightness. I then touched the Walls of the House, which assumed the
same Appearance, and looked amazingly magnificent. Elated with this
wonderful Gift, I rang hastily for my Maid to carry the joyful News to
her Master, who, as I thought, was then walking in the Garden.
_Sukey_ came, but in the Extacy I was in, happening to touch her
Hand, she became instantly an immovable Statue. Go, said I, and call
your Master; but she made no reply, nor could she stir. Upon this I
shrieked, and in came my dear Husband, whom I ran to embrace; when no
sooner had I touched him, but he became good for nothing; that is,
good for nothing but his Weight in Gold; and that you know could be
nothing, where Gold was so plenty. At this instant up came another
Servant with a Glass of Water, thinking me ill; this I attempted to
swallow, but no sooner did it touch my Mouth, than it became a hard
solid Body, and unfit for drinking. My Distress now grew
insupportable! I had destroyed, as I thought, my dear Husband, and my
favourite Servant; and I plainly perceived, that I should die for want
in the midst of so much Wealth. Ah, said I, why did I long for Riches!
Having enough already, why did I covet more? Thus terrified, I began
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