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Wolfville Nights by Alfred Henry Lewis
page 115 of 279 (41%)
onbroken them hectorin's of her's. I could onfold a fact or two about
that wife of mine who cuts out the divorce from me in Laredo that would
lead you to concloosions sim'lar. But she wasn't your wife; an' I don't
aim to impose my domestic afflictions on this innocent camp, which bein'
troo I mootely stands my hand.'

"This Jerry's got one weakness however, I don't never take advantage of
it. He's scared to frenzy if you pulls a gun. I reckons, with all them
crimes of his'n preyin' on his mind, that he allows you're out, to shoot
him up. Jerry is ca'm so long as your gun's in the belt, deemin' it as
so much onmeanin' ornament. But the instant you pulls it like you're
goin' to put it in play, he onbuckles into piercin' screams. I reaches
for my six-shooter one evenin' by virchoo of antelopes, an' that's the
time I discovers this foible of Jerry's. I never gets a shot. At the
sight of the gun Jerry evolves a howl an' the antelopes tharupon hits two
or three high places an' is miles away. Shore, they thinks Jerry is some
new breed of demon.

"When I turns to note the cause of Jerry's clamours he's loppin' his
fore-laigs over Tom's back an' sobbin' an' sheddin' tears into his mane.
Tom sympathises with Jerry an' says all he can to teach him that the
avenger ain't on his trail. Nothin' can peacify Jerry, however, except
jammin' that awful six-shooter back into its holster. I goes over Jerry
that evenin' patiently explorin' for bullet marks, but thar ain't none.
No one's ever creased him; an' I figgers final by way of a s'lootion of
his fits that mighty likely Jerry's attended some killin' between
hoomans, inadvertent, an' has the teeth of his apprehensions set on aige.

"Jerry is that high an' haughty he won't come up for corn in the mornin'
onless I petitions him partic'lar an' calls him by name. To jest whoop
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