offer her a pickled beet with the other. This confuses her mind,
and she may grow up not knowing right from wrong. (The striking
example of the pickled beet was removed from the essay by the
refined but ruthless Miss Dearborn, who strove patiently, but
vainly, to keep such vulgar images out of her pupils' literary
efforts.)

We now respectfully approach the Holy Bible and the people in the
Bible were punished the whole time, and that would seem to make
it right. Everybody says Whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth; but
we think ourself, that the Lord is a better punisher than we are,
and knows better how and when to do it having attended to it ever
since the year B.C. while the human race could not know about it
till 1492 A.D., which is when Columbus discovered America.

We do not believe we can find out all about this truly great and
national subject till we get to heaven, where the human race,
strapped and unstrapped, if any, can meet together and laying
down their harps discuss how they got there.

And we would gently advise boys to be more quiet and genteel in
conduct and try rewards to see how they would work. Rewards are
not all like the little rosebud merit cards we receive on
Fridays, and which boys sometimes tear up and fling scornfully to
the breeze when they get outside, but girls preserve carefully in
an envelope.

Some rewards are great and glorious, for boys can get to be
governor or school trustee or road commissioner or president,
while girls can only be wife and mother. But all of us can have