never satisfy her. If she married him she would come second--and a very
poor second--to his profession. And so she did not mean to marry him.
And so she checked the fevered memory of passionate kisses that had
burned her to the soul, of arms that had clasped and held her by a force
colossal. That had been only the primitive man in him, escaped for the
moment beyond his control--the primitive man which he had well-nigh
succeeded in stifling with the bonds of his servitude. Had he not told
her that he would have given all he had to forget that single wild lapse
into savagery? She was sure that he despised himself for it. He would
never for an instant suffer such an impulse again. He did not really
love her. It was not in him to love any woman. He would make her a
formal offer of marriage, and when she had refused him he would dismiss
the matter from his mind and return to his work undisturbed.

So she schooled herself to make her plans, leaving him out of the
reckoning, telling herself ever that her newly restored freedom was too
dear ever to be sacrificed again. In Mrs. Ralston's company she attended
some of the social gatherings of the station, but she took no keen
pleasure in them. She disliked Lady Harriet, she distrusted Mrs. Burton,
and more often than not she remained away. The coming Christmas
festivities did not attract her. She held aloof till Tommy who was in
the thick of everything suddenly and vehemently demanded her presence.

"It's ridiculous to be so stand-offish," he maintained. "Don't let 'em
think you're afraid of 'em! Come anyway to the moonlight picnic at
Khanmulla on Christmas Eve! It's going to be no end of a game."

Stella smiled a little. "Do you know, Tommy, I think I'd rather go to
bed?"