"An' we're goin' to do it, Hinnissy. Th' rayciption that this here
sintimint has rayceived fr'm ivry wan that has a son in colledge is
almost tumulchuse. We feel like a long-lost brother that's been
settin' outside in th' cold f'r a week, an' is now ast in to
supper--an' sarched at th' dure f'r deadly weepins. We'll have to set
up sthraight an' mind our manners. No tuckin' our napkins down our
throats or dhrinkin' out iv th' saucer or kickin' our boots off undher
the table. No reachin' f'r annything, but 'Mah, will ye kindly pass
th' Ph'lippeens?' or 'No, thank ye, pah, help ye'ersilf first.'

"An' will we stay in? Faith, I dinnaw. We feel kindly to each other;
but it looks to me like, th' first up in th' mornin', th' first away
with th' valu'bles."

"I'll niver come in," protested Mr. Hennessy, stoutly.

"No more ye will, ye rebelyous omadhon," said Mr. Dooley. "An' 'twas
thinkin' iv you an' th' likes iv you an' Schwartzmeister an' th' likes
iv him that med me wondher. If th' 'liance got into a war with
Garmany, an' some wan was to start a rough-an'-tumble in Ireland about
iliction time, I wondher wud th' cimint hold!"




HANGING ALDERMEN.


Chicago is always on the point of hanging some one and quartering him
and boiling him in hot pitch, and assuring him that he has lost the