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Mr. Dooley: In the Hearts of His Countrymen by Finley Peter Dunne
page 35 of 168 (20%)
bridewell f'r it. I'm no health officer."

Having delivered himself of this tirade, Mr. Dooley scrutinized Mr.
McKenna sharply, and continued: "Ye've been out ilictin' some man,
Jawn, an' ye needn't deny it. I seen it th' minyit ye come in. Ye'er
hat's dinted, an' ye have ye'er necktie over ye'er ear; an' I see be
ye'er hand ye've hit a Dutchman. Jawn, ye know no more about politics
thin a mimber iv this here Civic Featheration. Didn't ye have a beer
bottle or an ice-pick? Ayether iv thim is good, though, whin I was a
young man an' precint captain an' intherested in th' welfare iv th'
counthry, I found a couplin' pin in a stockin' about as handy as
annything.

"Thim days is over, though, Jawn, an' between us politics don't
intherest me no more. They ain't no liveliness in thim. Whin Andy
Duggan r-run f'r aldherman against Schwartzmeister, th' big
Dutchman,--I was precinct captain then, Jawn,--there was an iliction
f'r ye. 'Twas on our precinct they relied to ilict Duggan; f'r the
Dutch was sthrong down be th' thrack, an' Schwartzmeister had a band
out playin' 'Th' Watch on th' Rhine.' Well, sir, we opened th' polls
at six o'clock, an' there was tin Schwartzmeister men there to protect
his intherests. At sivin o'clock there was only three, an' wan iv thim
was goin' up th' sthreet with Hinnissy kickin' at him. At eight
o'clock, be dad,' there was on'y wan; an' he was sittin' on th' roof
iv Gavin's blacksmith shop, an' th' la-ads was thryin' to borrow a
laddher fr'm th' injine-house f'r to get at him. 'Twas thruck
eighteen; an' Hogan, that was captain, wudden't let thim have it. Not
ye'er Hogan, Jawn, but th' meanest fireman in Bridgeport. He got kilt
aftherwards. He wudden't let th' la-ads have a laddher, an' th'
Dutchman stayed up there; an', whin there was nawthin' to do, we wint
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