THE TALE AND WAIL OF A ROOKIE

When I was young I said to myself,
Choose a career and start after the pelf,
Early to bed and early to rise,
You're sure to get wealthy and awfully wise,
So I started out to look around,
But nice fat jobs weren't easily found.

However, while taking a walk down the street,
A bright colored poster my eyes did greet,
"Young Men Wanted." I said, "That's me,"
And stepped up closer so I could see.
"Join the Army and see the World,"
My fingers around my last dollar were curled.

So I went around where they hung out the flag.
But that 7-year hitch made my interest lag.
They explained it, however, and made it quite plain
That to join the Army would be my gain.
So here I am in the damn Philippines,
They feed me nothing but bacon and beans.

The land of the goo-goo is no place for me,
The reason porque is easy to see.
I never was strong for bugs and lizards,
Or the amoebic bug that tickles your gizzards.
I have a reverse on fleas and snakes,