my case. I am a widow, aged thirty-two years----"

JANET. And anybody that likes can see my birth certificate. That's what
I call talking.

CARVE. My dear lady! (Continuing to read.) "Thirty-two years. My
father was a jobbing builder, well known in Putney and Wandsworth. My
husband was a rent collector and estate agent. He died four years ago of
appendicitis (hesitating) caught----"

JANET. Caused.

CARVE. I beg pardon, "--caused by accidentally swallowing a bristle out
of his tooth-brush, the same being discovered at the operation. I am an
orphan, a widow, and have no children. In consequence I feel very
lonely, and my first experience not being distasteful, indeed the
reverse, I am anxious to try again, provided I can meet with a sincere
helpmeet of good family. I am the owner of the above house, rated at
forty-five pounds a year, in one of the nicest streets in Putney, and I
have private means of some three pounds a week, from brewery shares
bringing in fifteen per cent. I will say nothing about my appearance,
but enclose latest carte-de-visite photograph."

JANET. I had it taken on purpose.

CARVE. "As to my tastes, I will only say that as a general rule they are
quiet. If the above seems in your line, I shall be obliged if you will
write and send me particulars of yourself, with photographs.--Yours
truly, JANET CANNOT." Well, Mrs. Cannot, your letter is an absolute
model.