"I am a magistrate and a special constable--" began Granby.

"More shame to you. It's the likes of you 'oo disgraces the upper
clarses."

"Shut the door, Bill," said the lady. "Don't lower yourself by talking
to 'im. I never could abide a man as smelt o' gin meself."

The door slammed and Granby strode towards me.

"The ingratitude of the lower classes is disgraceful. I am tempted to
despair of the State when I think of it. The only way is to let these
occurrences pass into oblivion, to set oneself resolutely to forget
them as if they had never been."

I agreed; but since then Granby has always eyed me curiously. I think
he suspects that I am not forgetting resolutely enough.

* * * * *

A Field Officer writes: "Yesterday I was saluted by an Australian
private. It was a great day for me."

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE WHITE HOUSE MYSTERY.

UNCLE SAM. "SAY, JOHN, SHALL WE HAVE A DOLLAR'S WORTH?"]

* * * * *