can obtain what I seek. Then it is upon my voice that I must fix all
my thoughts, I must cultivate, watch, and guard it. I swear to
Thee, O Lord, no longer to sing or scream as I used to do.

On leaving the H----'s, I was wrapped in an ermine cloak. I thought
I looked very well. If I became a duchess, a cloak like that would
suit me. I am growing too presumptuous. Because I put on an ermine
cloak, I imagine that I am a queen.

Monday, our day. We have plenty of callers. I went in only a minute
to ask Mamma something, in my character of a little girl. Before
entering I looked at myself in the mirror hanging there: I was
good-looking, rosy, fair, pretty.

Suppose I should write everything I think and everything I intend to
do when I grow up, everything I mean to forget, and everything that
is extraordinary? A dinner service of transparent glass. On one side
a certain costume and arrangement of the hair; on the other side a
different costume and a different arrangement of the hair, so that
on one side I shall be one person, and on the other side another. To
give a dinner by letters. I have determined to end this book, for
extravagant ideas rarely come to me in these days.


March 14th, 1873.

I saw Madame V---- on the Promenade. I was so glad, not on her own
account--yes, a little, but because all these people remind me of
Baden.