What was my surprise to find, on waking, that all this happiness was
only a dream! I spoke of it to members of the family, I laughed at
myself, to conceal my joy and my love for him. He talked with me
tenderly. Not exactly, but I know what I mean. He was not precisely
like himself, smaller and not so handsome. I thought I had reached
port, but, on waking, I find myself in the open sea and in the midst
of the tempest, as I was yesterday and shall be for a long time,
perhaps, until he comes to lead me on board. That is a commonplace
phrase, but it well expresses what I wish to say and I use it. Then
an hour's practice on the piano. Then to the Promenade.
Mademoiselle de G---- wore a broad-brimmed grey felt hat, turned up
at one side. O, how I would like a hat like that! It is so graceful.
I would like a hat like that, and the same style of gown. It brings
back the young ladies of former days, tall, well-formed, slender,
beautiful. One would say that I am raving over a gown as I do over
the man I love.


Tuesday, April 8th.

I had a geography lesson to-day. While looking for a city in
America, my eyes were attracted by this tragical name: H---- island
in the Arctic Ocean. It seemed as if a thunderbolt had struck me, I
did not feel the earth under my feet. My heart beat violently, I was
completely upset. Can I doubt that I love him? If he knew it! But,
with God's assistance he will know it some day. God is so good. He
has given me all I have possessed up to the present moment.

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