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Marie Bashkirtseff (From Childhood to Girlhood) by Marie Bashkirtseff
page 19 of 80 (23%)
During my absence a little negro boy was engaged, who will go out
with the carriage. I cannot look through the window. I can't bear
this pale foliage, this red earth, this heavy atmosphere! So Mamma
said that we will stay in Paris! Heaven be praised!

We were summoned to dinner, but first I arranged my room. Then I
went back to the drawing-room, where Mamma was lying. We talked and
laughed, I told what I had seen, in short, we discussed everything.
I fear Mamma will be seriously ill. I shall pray to God for her. I
am glad to be back in my chamber, it is pretty. To-morrow I mean to
have my bed all in white. That will be lovely.

I regard Nice as an exile. I intend to occupy myself specially in
arranging the days and hours of tutors.

With winter will come society, with society, gaiety. It will not be
Nice, but a little Paris. And the Races! Nice has its good side. All
the same, the six or seven months which must be spent there seem
like a sea I must cross without turning my eyes from the light-house
which guides me. I do not expect to approach, no, I only hope to see
this land, and the sole thing which gives me resolution and strength
to live until next year. Afterward! Really, I know nothing about it!
But I hope, I believe in God, in His divine goodness, that is why I
don't lose courage. Whoever lives under His protection will find
repose in the mercy of the Omnipotent One. He will cover thee with
His wings. Under their shelter thou wilt be in safety. His truth
will be thy shield, thou wilt fear neither the arrows that fly by
night; nor the pestilence that wastes by day! I cannot express how
deeply I am moved and how grateful I am for God's goodness toward
me.
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