From this time I will no longer trouble myself about any one. I will
become Galatea, let people love me, if they like!

I wonder why I am unhappy. No! I have no brains. Do people ask such
things when they have? We are happy or we are unhappy, nothing does
any good; neither prayer, nor tears, nor faith. I am a living proof,
I lack everything.

When shall I go to Rome? I want to study, I am losing my time for
nothing. If one does nothing, one ought to go into society; I am
losing my time and I am bored.

O, misery of miseries! I will go all the same to pray to God, who
knows?

While there is life, there is hope.


Saturday, December 4th, 1875.

I have told Mamma that I was going to study singing, and I shall do
it, if it is God's pleasure to preserve my voice; it is the only way
of gaining the fame for which I thirst, for which I would give ten
years of my life without hesitation. I need renown, glory, and I
will have them. _Deo juvante._ It has never happened that people
wanted it, and did not have it! I have the most comprehensive ideas
in the world. A fig for all that! Do I want it? A hundred times, no,
a thousand times no! I was born to be a remarkable woman, it
matters little in what way or how. All my tendencies are toward the