Than their own insides or their poor digestions.
It has changed a First Lord into a Colonel,
Then into a scribe on a Sunday-journal,
With the possible hope, when scribbling palls,
Of doing his hit at the Music Halls.
It has proved the means of BIRRELL'S confounding
And given Lord WIMBORNE a chance of re-bounding.
But--quite the most wonderful thing of all
The things that astonish, amaze or appal--
As though a jelly turned suddenly rigid,
It has made "TAY PAY" grow suddenly frigid!
When rivers flow backwards to their founts
And tailors refuse to send in accounts;
When some benevolent millionaire
Makes me his sole and untrammelled heir;
When President WILSON finds no more
Obscurity in "the roots of the War";
When Mr. PONSONBY stops belittling
His country and WELLS abandons _Britling_:
When the Ethiopian changes his hue
To a vivid pink or a Reckitty blue--
In fine, when the Earth has lost its solidity,
Then I shall believe in "TAY PAY'S" frigidity.

* * * * *

DURATION OF THE WAR.

"If the bid does not come early in 19717 the evidences of
Germany's clamorous needs are strangely false."--_Evening