War.

Miss Parsons is our cook, as worthy a young woman as ever riveted an
apple-dumpling or tossed a custard. She would make George an excellent
wife. Don't worry about the parlour-maid or housemaid. They would, I
am sure, be delighted to be at the wedding.

Yours,
HARRY.


Petherton's reply was prompt, personal and to the point:--

SIR,--Confound you and your entire staff! You ought all to be
interned. If George ever thinks of leaving me I trust it will not be
to marry one of your household. In the name of decency I must insist
on your taking strong action to end what is a positive scandal.

Faithfully yours,
FREDERICK PETHERTON.


It was Monday before I replied, then I wrote:--

DEAR FREDDY,--Let us mingle our tears. The worst is about to happen If
you were as good a churchgoer as one could wish, you would have been
in your pew yesterday morning, when the banns were read out (for the
first time of asking) "between George Goodman, bachelor, and Emily
Parsons, spinster, both of this parish," though this would not have
conveyed to you the appalling fact that your man is marrying my entire