A burglar who broke into a Manchester wine stores made off with a
large sum of money, but none of the wine was taken. This once again
proves that total abstinence is absolutely essential to business
success.

***

Consternation has been caused among the pessimists (who have declared
that this will be a long War) by the recent statement of M. Louis
RABOURDIN, the French scientist, that in five thousand years the world
will be uninhabited.

***

A solicitor has been arrested in Ireland under the Defence of the
Realm Act for refusing to give away the confidential correspondence
of his client. The suggestion that a lawyer should be required to
give away anything has aroused a storm of indignant protest in both
branches of the profession.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Lady_ (_who has been damaged by motor-car_). "I SEZ TO
THE SHOVER, I SEZ, 'YOU MAY 'AVE AN ENGLISH NIME, BUT YOUR CONDUCK'S
TOOTON.'"]

* * * * *

"ARGENTINE MEAT SHIPMENTS.