"Oh!" said the critic, visibly relieved. "I was afraid you were
painting for the Royal Academy."

"Oh, no," answered Whistler; "they do not want masterpieces there, but
some of their picture-frames are exquisite and really worth bus-fare
to look at."

* * * * *

Walking in the Champs-Elysées in Paris one morning, Whistler heard one
Englishman say to another:

"See that chap over there?"

"What? That chap with the long hair and spindle legs?"

"Yes, that's the one. That's Whistler, the American, who thinks he's
the greatest painter on earth."

Walking up to the pair, Whistler held out his hand and said gravely to
the last speaker:

"Sir, I beg your acceptance of these ten centimes. Go buy yourself a
little hay!"

* * * * *

Sitting for a portrait was an ordeal. Many were quite upset after a
siege in the studio. One man annoyed the artist by saying at each
dismissal: