The rasp was so tormenting.

He will not through Gran[=a]da march,
For there he knows the horse-shoe arch
At every gate attends him.
Nor partridges can he digest,
Since the dire horse-shoe on the breast
Most grievously offends him.

The name of Smith he cannot bear;
Smith Payne he'll curse, and foully swear
At Smith of Pennsylvania,
With looks so wild about the face;
Monro called in, pronounced the case
Clear antismithymania;

And duly certified that Nick
Should be confined as lunatic,
Fit subject for commission.
But who the deuce would like to be
The devil's person's committee?
So kindred won't petition.

Now, since the wicked fiend's at large,
Skippers, and housekeepers, I charge
You all to heed my warning.
Over your threshold, on your mast,
Be sure the horse-shoe's well nailed fast,
Protecting and adorning.