appeared that the CHUMPS took a prominent part. I will do BEN the
credit to say that he never omitted to mark with broad red pencil
those parts which referred specially to himself, or reported any
speech he may have happened to make.

Eventually that which I dreaded came about. Circumstances made it
impossible for me to refuse an invitation to Carchester Manor, and
on a certain evening in the first week of December I found myself a
guest under the roof of the CHUMPS. The entertainment provided was, I
am bound to say, magnificent. Every want that the most exacting guest
could feel was supplied almost before he had expressed it, and all
that gorgeous rooms, stately retainers and irreproachable cooking
could do to secure our comfort was done at Carchester Manor. But CHUMP
himself was on that first evening the grandest spectacle of all. He
overpowered me. Like some huge Spanish galleon making her way with
bellying sails and majestic progress amidst a fleet of cockle-shells,
so did CHUMP bear himself amidst his party. The neighbouring magnates
came to meet us. Lord and Lady AGINCOURT with their charming daughter
Lady MABEL POICTIERS, Sir GEORGE BUCKWHEAT and his wife, the Reverend
Canon and Mrs. CATSPAW, and a host of others were there to do CHUMP
honour. I thought of POLYCRATES and his ring and of other well-known
examples. Something I knew must happen to disturb this edifice of
pompous grandeur. The something was not long in coming, for just after
CHUMP had expatiated at immense length upon the vintages of France,
after he had offered to stock the failing cellars of Lord AGINCOURT
from his own, after the butler had, with due parade, placed two corks
at his master's side in token of the treat that was to follow, it was
discovered by little BILLY SILTZER, an impudent dog without veneration
or reticence, that _both_ the bottles of _Pontet Canet_ were
disgustingly corked. To my relief, but to CHUMP's discomfiture, BILLY