And so the Nutrition Expert was asked to talk about "potato substitutes"
and expected to exercise some necromancy whereby that which was not a
potato might become a potato. Now, the Nutrition Expert was very
imperturbable--not at all disturbed by the calamity which had befallen our
tables. That unfeeling person saw potatoes, not in terms of their hot
mealiness and spicy mildness, but in terms of that elusive thing called
"DIET." The vanishing tuber was bidden to answer the dietary roll-call:

"Proteins?" "Here!" Answer somewhat faint but
suggesting remarkable worth.

"Fats?" No answer.

"Carbohydrates?" Loud note from "Starch."

"Mineral salts?" "Here!" From a regular chorus, among
which "Potassium" and "Iron"
easily distinguishable.

"Vitamines and "Here! Here!" Especially vociferous, the
Other Accessories?" "Anti-Scorbutic Property."

"This is a good showing for any single food material. The potato, as truly
as bread, may be called a 'staff of life.' Men have lived in health upon
it for many months without any other food save oleomargarine. Its protein,
though small in amount, is most efficient in body-building, its salts are
varied in kind and liberal in amount, and it furnishes a large amount of
very easily digested fuel besides. It is at its best when cooked in the
simplest possible way--baked or boiled in its skin. Nevertheless we are