my pullisher is not sasfide oughtbe. Never use pen now only typwritr so
much quickerin tellgible convenent an leshble

Yours
S SMUGGYNS

It strikes us that either the machine stammers, or that it was, at the time
of writing, somewhat the worse for liquor, or that it is a very truthfully
phonetic-writing but somewhat indiscreet amanuensis. At the same time
herewith and hereby every success to our friend SMUGGYNS'S new book.

* * * * *

HARD LINES FOR HIM.--When the first stone of a new theatre in Cranbourne
Street was laid the other day by some Magnates of the Theatrical
Profession--beg pardon, "_the_ Profession," we should have said--Mrs.
BANCROFT made a telling impromptu speech, and then Mr. YARDLEY, ancient
Cricketer and Modern Dramatist, was hit on the head--accidentally, of
course--by the bottle which is in use on these occasions. "Very YARDLEY
treated," observed Sir DRURIOLANUS, in his happiest vein. Not the first
literary gent who, according to the ancient slang of the Tom-and-Jerry
period, has been "cut" by ill-use of the bottle. But the unfortunate
author's sorrows did not end with this sad blow, as, very soon afterwards,
his dear friends the Critics, with profuse apologies for being compelled to
handle him so severely, were down upon him for his new version of a French
piece, entitled _The Planter_. So the logical sequence of events was, that
first a blow was planted, and then appeared _The Planter_.

* * * * *