less than two hundred of my comrades either succumbed outright to the bite
of the poisonous _contango_ fly, or had to be mercifully dispatched by the
hammer (a painless native form of death), in order to end their tortures, I
succeeded in reaching the capital, where I was hospitably received by the
king. After a negotiation of three weeks, His Majesty agreed, in the
kindest and most affable manner, to concede to me his whole country
together with all its revenues, minerals, royalties, timber, water-power,
lakes, farm-houses, stock and manor-houses, the whole beautifully situated
in the heart of a first-class sporting country, within easy reach of ten
packs of hounds; the old residential palace replete with every modern
comfort, and admirably adapted for the purposes of a gentleman desiring to
set up in the business of kingship. It matters not what I had to pay for
this. The secret is my own, and shall go to Westminster Abbey with me. The
point is, that with the funds entrusted to me, I have formed the
Cent-per-Central African Exploration and Investment Syndicate, and have
allotted shares to all those whose contributions have come to hand. As to
profit, I have calculated it on the strictest actuarial principles, and
find it cannot be less than £100 for every £100 invested. This may seem
small, but in these matters moderation is the soul of business. I shall
have more to say on this subject next week.

_Answers to Correspondents_.

DISMAL JEMMY.--Why do you suggest that the motto of my new company should
be, "_Stealer et fraudax_"? Is it a Latin joke? If so, don't write to me
any more. Those who deal with _me_ must be British to the backbone.

ANXIOUS.--You can't do better than send me those £50,000. I guarantee
secrecy and quick returns. The Eyeoyu Land Trust is best for your purposes
(Pref. deb. 492; stk. 18. 2. 3). Send money at once to CROESUS, E.C. Delay