"Old man," he will be saying on the twenty-ninth occasion, "if I got done
in, promise you won't bother about that thousand pounds you owe
me--remember you're to think of it as paid."

I shall remember all right.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _N.C.O._ "HERE! JUST GRAB THE OOJAH AN' DASH ROUND TO THE
TIDDLEY-OM-POM FOR SOME UMPTY-POO!"

Private (ex-professor of languages) learns later that he was expected to
fetch a bucket of coke from the stores.]

* * * * *

"In a corn and meal merchant's shop, where two or three cats are kept
for business purposes, the cats may be seen feeding at will from the
open sacks."--_Spectator_.

This lapse on pussy's part goes rather against the grain.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Barber_. "MUCH OFF, SIR?"

_War Economist_. "DURATION OF WAR."]

* * * * *