Pragmatical pietists, sceptics obtuse
Who Progress impede with crude cackle,
Predestinate duffers of prattle profuse,
Who the biggest world-problems would tackle;
State-quacks, shouting Emperors, queer School-Board cranks,
We'll give you our best benediction,
And speed you at parting with heartiest thanks,
If you'll only--"retire into Fiction!"

* * * * *

[Illustration: EMANCIPATION.

_Young Bride of Three Hours' standing_ (_just starting on her Wedding
Trip_).--"OH, EDWIN DEAR! HERE'S '_TOM JONES_.' PAPA TOLD ME I WASN'T
TO READ IT TILL I WAS MARRIED! THE DAY HAS COME ... AT LAST! BUY IT
FOR ME, EDWIN DEAR."]

* * * * *

ARMING THE AMAZONS.

(_MODERN BRUMMAGEM VERSION._)

[At the meeting (at Birmingham) of the National Union of
Conservative and Constitutional Associations, a resolution in
favour of "considering the claims of women to be admitted to
the franchise when entitled by ownership or occupation," was
carried "by an overwhelming majority, amid loud cheers."
Mrs. FAWCETT afterwards said, "What new forces were they (the