forgiving of her, and have allowed her a quarter of a pound for that
purpose. My son-in-law, who unfortunately is rather addicted to drink,
says it is "the finest tap he ever tasted," and adds that if he could
be sure of always having such Coffee, he would join the Blue Ribbon
Army at once. Hitherto he has not joined.

Yours humbly,
MARTHA HUSWIFE.

SIR,--At my "Home for Elderly Orphans of Defective Brain Power," I
give an _excellent_ Coffee, made of five parts chicory, and one of
Mocha, supplied at a cheap rate by a House in the City, which owes
me money, and is paying it off in this way, with skim-milk added, in
moderation, and no sugar. None of the orphans has ever complained of
my Coffee. I should like to catch them doing so. It is nonsense to say
the art of coffee-making is unknown in England.

Yours, indignantly,
CLEOPATRA JONES.

SIR,--Here is the recipe for Coffee which we use at this Buffet:--

"Place one pound of the 'Nonpareil Turkish Pasha's Special Brand
Extract of finest Mocha' in the urn in the morning. Pour on boiling
water to half-way up. Let it stew all day. Draw off as wanted, and
dilute with 'Anglo-African Condensed Cows' Milk.'"

Strange to say, we do not find great demand either for Coffee or Tea
(made on similar principles); but it is as well that the Public should
know that we have both in constant readiness, and of first-class