* * * * *

"Wanted, for Low Comedian, really Funny Sons."--_The Stage_.

As a change, we suppose, from the eternal mother-in-law.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Inveterate Golfer_ (_stung by the leading article_). "I
SUPPOSE _I_ AM REALLY NON-ESSENTIAL. IT'S HARD TO REALISE THIS WITH ONE'S
HANDICAP JUST REDUCED TO SEVEN."]

* * * * *

THE REGIMENTAL MASCOT.

When his honour the Colonel took the owld rigiment to France, Herself came
home bringin' the rigimental mascot with her. A big white long-haired
billy-goat he was, the same.

"I'll not be afther lavin him at the daypo," says Herself; "'tis no place
for a domestic animal at all, the language them little drummer-boys uses,
the dear knows," says she.

So me bowld mascot he stops up at the Castle and makes free with the
flower-beds and the hall and the drawin'-room and the domestic maids the
way he'd be the Lord-Lieutenant o' the land, and not jist a plain human
Angory goat. A proud arrygent crature it is, be the powers! Steppin' about
as disdainy as a Dublin gerrl in Ballydehob, and if, mebbe, you'd address