We know now why Mr. ASQUITH refused a peerage. He did not want to vex his
modest admirer.

* * * * *

"At Caxton Hall the conference was resumed of municipal authorities
interested in the conversation of old fruit, sardine and salmon
tins."--_Birmingham Daily Mail_.

We ourselves always listen with pleasure to their talk. It has at once a
fruity and a fishy flavour.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Gentleman_ (_In favour of national work for everyone_).
"AND WHY SHOULDN'T PEOPLE BE DOING TO-DAY WHAT THEY NEVER DREAMED OF DOING
BEFORE THE WAR?"

_New Assistant_ (_his first operation_). "EXACTLY, SIR. ALL THE SAME, IF
ANYBODY HAD TOLD ME TWO DAYS AGO THAT I SHOULD NOW BE CUTTING THE HAIR OF A
COMPLETE STRANGER, I'D NEVER HAVE BELIEVED 'IM."]

WARS OF THE PAST.

(_As recorded in the Press of the period._)

VI.

_From "The Athens Advertiser and Piræus Post_."