tell me at what number in this street there resides a well-known and much-
respected lady by the name of Lirriper?" A little flustered though I
must say gratified I took off my glasses and courtesied and said "Sir,
Mrs. Lirriper is your humble servant." "Astonishing!" says he. "A
million pardons! Madam, may I ask you to have the kindness to direct one
of your domestics to open the door to a gentleman in search of
apartments, by the name of Jackman?" I had never heard the name but a
politer gentleman I never hope to see, for says he, "Madam I am shocked
at your opening the door yourself to no worthier a fellow than Jemmy
Jackman. After you Madam. I never precede a lady." Then he comes into
the parlours and he sniffs, and he says "Hah! These are parlours! Not
musty cupboards" he says "but parlours, and no smell of coal-sacks." Now
my dear it having been remarked by some inimical to the whole
neighbourhood that it always smells of coal-sacks which might prove a
drawback to Lodgers if encouraged, I says to the Major gently though
firmly that I think he is referring to Arundel or Surrey or Howard but
not Norfolk. "Madam" says he "I refer to Wozenham's lower down over the
way--Madam you can form no notion what Wozenham's is--Madam it is a vast
coal-sack, and Miss Wozenham has the principles and manners of a female
heaver--Madam from the manner in which I have heard her mention you I
know she has no appreciation of a lady, and from the manner in which she
has conducted herself towards me I know she has no appreciation of a
gentleman--Madam my name is Jackman--should you require any other
reference than what I have already said, I name the Bank of
England--perhaps you know it!" Such was the beginning of the Major's
occupying the parlours and from that hour to this the same and a most
obliging Lodger and punctual in all respects except one irregular which I
need not particularly specify, but made up for by his being a protection
and at all times ready to fill in the papers of the Assessed Taxes and
Juries and that, and once collared a young man with the drawing-room