* * * * *


AN OPPORTUNITY.--A Lyme Regis Correspondent sends us the following
advertisement, found, he says, in the _Bridport News_; we omit dates
and names:--

---- will SELL by AUCTION, Three Fine DAIRY COWS to calve
_respectfully_ in Dec., April, and May next. An excellent
double-feeding chaff-cutter, &c.

A respectful cow will no doubt fulfil her engagements honorably. "A
double-feeding chaff-cutter" ought to be an acquisition to a fast set
on a coach at the Derby, though of course his "double-feeding" powers
would have to be amply provided for at luncheon time.

* * * * *

"The nearest thing to 'setting the Thames on fire,'" said a quiet
traveller by the Underground, "is the announcement which you will now
see at the St. James's Park Station:--'A LIGHT HERE FOR NIAGARA.'"
"Why," exclaimed an irate passenger to the timid suggestion of
the above, "of course it doesn't mean _that_." Then he added,
contemptuously, "Get out!" Which he did.

* * * * *

[Illustration: RUSTICUS EXPECTANS. (NEW POLITICAL VERSION OF AN OLD
FABLE.)]