ILLEGAL FICTIONS.

SCENE--_Interior of a Publisher's Office, shortly after the
trial of Pinnock v. Chapman and Hall._

_Publisher_. We have given our best attention to your Manuscript of
a three-volumed novel, called--let me see, what did you call it? Oh,
yes, here it is!--called, _Haunted by Sixteen Goblins_, and we are
afraid it won't do.

_Literary Aspirant_ (_pained_). Won't _do_!

_Pub._ (_calmly_). No. Won't do a bit--at least, not in its present
form. You see, you introduce a Pirate Chief, named Captain WILDFIRE,
who lives at Singapore, and who murders the mate, the steward, five
seamen, and all the Passengers of the _Jolly Seamew_, the vessel that
he commands, and appropriates five million dollars belonging to his
employers, the vessel's owners.

_Lit. Asp._ Quite so. I thought those incidents would be rather
exciting. They're so new. Do you object to the murders, or what?

_Pub._ Oh, dear no! But now this name, Captain WILDFIRE.
(_Suspiciously._) Are you sure there is nobody whose name is at all
like it, and who also resides at Singapore?

_Lit. Asp._ I took the name quite by chance. I've never been near
Singapore in my life.