laid hold upon me, I should have worried and tormented you every hour of
the day.

Dearest and best friend, there is some truth in these words, spoken by I
know not whom: "Either a woman is made for marriage, and then it
practically does not matter to whom she is married, she will soon
understand how to fulfil her destiny; or she is unsuited to matrimony,
in which case she commits a crime against her own personality when she
binds herself to any man."

Apparently, I was not meant for married life. Otherwise I should have
lived happily for ever and a day with you--and you know that was not the
case. But you are not to blame. I wish in my heart of hearts that I had
something to reproach you with--but I have nothing against you of any
sort or kind.

It was a great mistake--a cowardly act--to promise you yesterday that I
would return if I regretted my decision. I _know_ I shall never regret
it. But in making such a promise I am directly hindering you.... Forgive
me, dear friend ... but it is not impossible that you may some day meet
a woman who could become something to you. Will you let me take back my
promise? I shall be grateful to you. Then only can I feel myself really
free.

When you return home, stand firm if your friends overwhelm you with
questions and sympathy. I should be deeply humiliated if anyone--no
matter who--were to pry into the good and bad times we have shared
together. Bygones are bygones, and no one can actually realise what
takes place between two human beings, even when they have been
onlookers.