Yet the world compels them to steer a false course. Their youth only
counts so long as their complexions remain clear and their figures slim.
Otherwise they are exposed to cruel mockery. A woman who tries late in
life to make good her claim to existence, is regarded with contempt. For
her there is neither shelter nor sympathy.

It sometimes happens that a winter gale strips all the leaves from a
tree in a single night. When does a woman grow old in body and soul in
one swift and merciful moment? From our birth we are accursed.

I blame no one for my failure in life. It was in my own hands. If I
could live it through again from the start, it is more than probable I
should waste the years for a second time.




CHRISTMAS EVE.

At this hour there will be festivities in the Old Market Place.
Richard's last letter touched me profoundly; something within me went
out toward his honest nature....

What is the use of all these falsehoods? I long for an embrace. Is that
shocking? We women are so wrapped in deceit that we feel ashamed of
confessing such things. Yet it is true, I miss Richard. Not the husband
or companion, but the lover.

What use in trying to soothe my senses by walking for hours through the