_Witness_. It is not _may_ be--but who I am!

_Second Lead._ Well, tell us who you are. (_Persuasively._) Come, who
are you?

_Witness_ (_throwing off his disguise_). Who am I? Why, HAWKSHAW the
Detective!

_Counsel Generally_ (_to Judge_). Then, my Lord, under the altered
circumstances of the case, we can appear no longer before you. (_With
deep and touching emotion._) We retire from the case!

_Judge_ (_not very appropriately_). Then if _Box and Cox_ are
satisfied, all I can say is that I am. I may add that I consider that
the case has been conducted nobly, and that I knew how it would end
from the very first. I am thoroughly satisfied.

_Jury_. And so are we, my Lord--never so interested in our lives!

_Newspaper Editor_ (_departing_). Ah, if we only had a trial like
this every day, we should require but one line on the Contents Bill!
(_Curtain._)

* * * * *

THE SAFEST NEW YEAR RESOLVE.--To make none.

* * * * *

NOTICE--Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed