Unasked, it looms--that ophicleide
From Germany, with melodies
Whereat the cow of story died;
Whereat a modern fellow dies.

Unasked, partakes my Christmas cheer,
(Whom oft, my front-door bell at, I've
Surprised, the better much for beer)--
My Cook's fraternal relative.

Unasked, my bills appear in shoals,
"_With compliments_" from creditors;
Unasked, in verse I send my soul's
Throbs--with a stamp--to Editors.

Unasked, that editorial pack
Return my "throbs" in heavy, new,
Crisp envelopes, unstamped, alack!
While I defray the Revenue.

* * * * *

MRS. RAM's nephew was reading aloud the prospectus of the Clerical,
Medical, and General Life Assurance Society. She was much impressed by
the idea of Clerical Assurance, and expressed herself greatly pleased
at the Ven. Archdeacon FARRAR being one of the Directors. "But what
puzzles me," observed the excellent lady, "is a paragraph headed
'Disposal of the Surplice.' I know that, years ago, there was a
'surplice difficulty.' But I thought that had been disposed of. Or,"